Life Happens In the Moment.

Seems like more of a Buddhist concept right?  Well, you can’t always be completely prepared and capable to master every situation life throws at you- live in the moment and enjoy it.  No matter how hard you try, you can’t script what happens next- go with momentum and be Genuine.  I’m not sure why many men somehow become someone else, or try to be, when they begin a conversation with a new woman.   Women can sense when every word out of your mouth has been edited; women can sense when you’re trying to lay a rap on them, and they can read your body language.  Don’t edit yourself- you won’t be able to do it successfully.  Any man knows when his own chatter begins to sound more and more like he’s trying too hard, and everyone around him can tell too because his body language will show he’s getting uncomfortble.

Live in the moment.  Men- there is no silver bullet ‘conversation opener’ for every woman.  Women just want you to approach them with confidence and say something that is interesting and different, or maybe just relevent.  If you think women expect you to say something very magical, let me disprove this theory.  Here are some of the casual topics of my most recent discussions with new women I met just this week:

• Her Blackberry (in checkout line at Wholefoods)
• Coffee (at Cafe Ole, on 3rd)
• Her dog (on 3rd & Chestnut)
• Surfing (she wore a Surfers Supplies shirt)
• Apples (at Wholefoods….again)
• The Lunch Menu (at a Haddonfield diner)
• I asked for fashion advice at Kenneth Cole’s on Walnut Street

All of these topics were conversation starters with new women.  The truth is women don’t expect you to talk about something really deep, or expect you to be seriously clever- they DO want you to approach them with confidence and say something engaging, without filp flopping or hesitation.  Women don’t expect you to talk about Louboutin shoes, or the latest Mackage jacket, or the Bachelor- this is all girl stuff they probably don’t want you to talk about anyway.  However women do expect you to be a man of action- live in the moment, go for it- approach her. 

If a woman makes eye contact with you and smiles-she obviously wants you to go over and talk with her!  This is a no brainer.  Whatever you do, don’t wait for a 5th confirmation smile and stare at her all night- this makes you the creepy guy, and proves you’re insecure.  Guys, there’s no script for these situations that can happen anywhere.  Go over and speak with her immediately, talk about something going on around you or happening in the moment, don’t use some scripted pickup line.   

Women ultimately care about the way you engage them.  Treat women like people, not objects- if you do this you can win her over.   Conversations will come easily if you’re genuine.  Live in the moment and have fun- an encounter with a new woman is only an encounter- that’s it.  Don’t make it out to be any more than that.

Men- if you need help with your approach or what to say, consider one of my coaching services located in the navigation bar at the top of my page.

Patrick Coleman, President of Philly Dating Coach, offers unique dating courses to help single men & women in the Philadelphia area repackage themselves to maximize their chances of attracting the opposite sex and finding love.  Patrick may be reached at patrick@phillydatingcoach.com for any inquiries regarding his dating coaching programs on www.phillydatingcoach.com  Please email him with any blog requests.