Take out the work, errands, and all the other obligations you have during the week and what do you have left over?  Your free time.  What people choose to do with their free time tells you exactly what they love about life.  Time cannot lie.  When a friend tells me he loves his girlfriend, but I never see him with her, or every time I see him he’s at the gym, surfing, on the golf course, I don’t believe he really loves his girlfriend.  People know who I love and what I love to do because of how I choose to spend my time.  So, time tells you a lot about who you are and what you love- this defines you.

Think about how you spend your free time- what do you love?  What’s valuable to you?  Think about this next time you meet anyone- anyone.  An easy way to learn about someone is to ask them about what they choose to do with their free time.   If they answer you honestly, they’re giving you a peek into their world.  Learn to take the conversation further, don’t be afraid to dig deeper and ask the real questions to learn more about what they really love about life.  The real matches are made when two people have similar value systems and share common ground.  Even though pure physical attraction can play a role, a lot of that attraction for women comes from how a man defines himself through conversation. 

Now think about where you are going to meet someone.  Do you go to places that define who you are, or do you find yourself at places that make you uncomfortable?  Lucky for us guys, women are more attracted to authentic men.  My best chances with women can be found at those places where I choose to spend my free time, where I am authentic- they will be places where I’m comfortable, am knowledgeable, and they define who I am- like the beach.  So, when I meet a woman on the beach it makes conversation easy and there’s a greater chance she has something in common with me.  If she chooses to spend her free time there like I do, then maybe we have a lot more in common.  If we share the same passion, there is a greater chance of attraction, and to build on that attraction.  The beach is also a place where conversation comes easily- conversation is key to building attraction for women.

A better looking guy may fair better than you when it comes to approaching women.  However, if you learn to stack the deck to your advantage by meeting women at those places that define who you are, you can win the battle because it shows you are genuine, your conversations will come more naturally, and you can establish a common ground, or even a shared passion.  Remember, woman consider how you look as only part of the equation- win the attraction battle by being authentic.  Spend time meeting women at all those places that define who you are- put the bars, clubs and pubs aside if you don’t want them on your personality resume.

Patrick Coleman, President of Philly Dating Coach, offers unique dating courses to help single men & women in the Philadelphia area repackage themselves to maximize their chances of attracting the opposite sex and finding love.  Patrick may be reached at patrick@phillydatingcoach.com for any inquiries regarding his dating coaching programs on www.phillydatingcoach.com  Please email him with any blog requests.